No. Homosexualtiy is a variation of the human condition, no more wrong than being left-handed.
Since the beginning of recorded human history, individuals have identified themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (GLBT). Homosexuality is not a disease, an illness, a disorder, or a psychological problem, a fact the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association have both agreed upon.
However, discriminatory laws, policies, and attitudes that still exist in our society are wrong, both in themselves and in promoting this idea.
Is homosexuality a sickness?
No. Psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals agree that homosexuality is not an illness, mental disorder or an emotional problem. Over 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that homosexuality, in and of itself is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems. Homosexuality was once thought to be a mental illness because mental health professionals and society had biased information. In the past, the studies of gay, lesbian and bisexual people involved only those in therapy, thus biasing the resulting conclusions. When researchers examined data about these people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was quickly found to be untrue.
In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association confirmed the importance of the new, better designed research and removed homosexuality from the official manual that lists mental and emotional disorders. Two years later, the American Psychological Association passed a resolution supporting the removal. For more than 25 years, both associations have urged all mental health professionals to help dispel the stigma of mental illness that some people still associate with homosexual orientation.
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~Robin Tyler
What does Transgender mean?
A transgender person is someone whose gender identity or expression differs from conventional expectations for their physical sex. The term transgender is used to describe several distinct but related groups of people who use a variety of other terms to identify themselves. Transgender people can include transsexuals (not all transsexual people need or want sex change surgery), masculine women, feminine men, drag queens/kings, cross-dressers, gender queers, two-spirit, butches, transmen, transwomen, etc. Like other people, transgender people can be straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual.
How are sexual orientation and gender identity determined?
No one knows exactly how sexual orientation and gender identity are determined. However, experts agree that it is a complicated matter of genetics, biology, psychological and social factors. For most people, sexual orientation and gender identity are shaped at an early age. While research has not determined a cause, homosexuality and gender variance are not the result of any one factor like parenting or past experiences. It is never anyone's "fault" if they or their loved one grows up to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. If you are asking yourself why you or your loved one is GLBT, consider asking yourself another question: Why are you asking why? Does your response to a GLBT person depend on knowing why they are GLBT? Regardless of cause, GLBT people deserve equal rights and to be treated fairly.
Can gay people change their sexual orientation or gender identity?
There are religious and secular organizations which sponsor campaigns and studies suggesting that GLBT people can change their sexual orientation or gender identity. Their assertions assume that there is something wrong with being GLBT - the largest problem is, in fact, society's intolerance of difference. It is our anti-GLBT attitudes, laws and policies that need to change, not the members of our society who are GLBT.
Many of the studies and campaigns suggesting that GLBT people can change are based on ideological biases rather than solid science. Claims of conversion from gay to straight tend to be poorly documented and full of flawed research with a lack of follow-up. No studies show proven long-term changes in gay or transgender people, and many reported changes are based solely on behavior and not a person's actual self-identity. The American Psychological Association has stated that scientific evidence shows that "reparative therapy" (therapy which claims to change GLBT people) does not work and that it can do more harm than good.
Can therapy change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity?
No. Even though most homosexuals live successful, happy lives, some homosexual or bisexual people may seek to change their sexual orientation through therapy, sometimes pressured by the influence of family members or religious groups to try and do so. The reality is that homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable.
However, not all gay, lesbian, and bisexual people who seek assistance from a mental health professional want to change their sexual orientation. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people may seek psychological help with the coming out process or for strategies to deal with prejudice, but most go into therapy for the same reasons and life issues that bring straight people to mental health professionals.
How does someone know they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender?
Some people say that they have "felt different" or knew they were attracted to people of the same sex since they were very young. Some transgender people talk about feeling, from an early age, that their gender identity did not match parental and social expectations. Others do not figure out their sexual orientation or gender identity until they are adolescents or adults. Often it can take a while for people to put a label to their feelings, or people's feelings may change over time.
Understanding your sexuality and gender can be a life-long process, and you shouldn't worry about labeling yourself right away. However, with positive images of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people more readily available, it is becoming easier for people to identify their feelings and come out at earlier ages. People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation - feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity. The short answer is that you'll know when you know.
Why should I come out?
There are many reasons. Most people who accept themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender feel better about being honest with others – and many are proud of their identity or orientation. Coming out also makes it easier to meet other GLBT people.
Another compelling reason to come out is that it offers you the chance to educate other people. When we come out, after all, we put a face on GLBT America and make familiar what may have once been unfamiliar and, therefore, frightening.
National polls also have shown that people who know a gay or lesbian person are far more likely to support equal rights for all gay people. In other words, coming out may be just one step in the life of a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person but it contributes to a giant leap for all GLBT people. For more information, visit coming out and public opinion.
Why is the "coming out" process difficult for some gay, lesbian and bisexual people?
For some gay and bisexual people the coming out process is difficult, for others it is not. Often lesbian, gay and bisexual people feel afraid, different, and alone when they first realize that their sexual orientation is different from the community norm. This is particularly true for people becoming aware of their gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation as a child or adolescent, which is not uncommon. And, depending on their families and where they live, they may have to struggle against prejudice and misinformation about homosexuality. Children and adolescents may be particularly vulnerable to the deleterious effects of bias and stereotypes. They may also fear being rejected by family, friends,co-workers, and religious institutions. Some gay people have to worry about losing their jobs or being harassed at school if their sexual orientation became well known. Unfortunately, gay, lesbian and bisexual people are at a higher risk for physical assault and violence than are heterosexuals. Studies done in California in the mid 1990s showed that nearly one-fifth of all lesbians who took part in the study and more than one-fourth of all gay men who participated had been the victim of a hate crime based on their sexual orientation. In another California study of approximately 500 young adults, half of all the young men participating in the study admitted to some form of anti-gay aggression from name-calling to physical violence.
How do I come out to my family and friends?
There are many questions to consider before coming out. Are you comfortable with your sexuality and gender identity/expression? Do you have support? Can you be patient? What kinds of views do your friends and family have about homosexuality and gender variance? Are you financially dependent on your family? Make sure you have thought your decision through, have a plan and supportive people you can turn to. And be prepared for the stages that your family or loved ones may go through upon learning you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Coming out can cause shock, denial, guilt and grief. However, PFLAG was founded because of the unconditional love of parents for their gay children. Your loved ones will need time to adjust to your news, the same way you may have needed time to come to terms with yourself. However, true acceptance is possible, especially with education and support.
For more information about coming out to family and friends, check out this website:
http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html
What if my family wants me to seek counseling?
First understand their motivation: Do they want you to feel more comfortable with your sexual orientation or gender identity, or do they hope you can be "cured?" If your family’s desire for you to have counseling stems from their misperceptions about what it means to be GLBT and a mistaken belief that you can and should change, assure them that you are healthy and happy and that being who you are is normal and natural for you. If they continue to encourage counseling, suggest that they attend with you. They may need as much assistance dealing with your coming out as you do.
But don’t immediately discount their suggestion. It is not unusual for GLBT people to seek counseling. Many find it a useful opportunity to explore their inner identity or cope with rejection from others. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement, "Homosexuality and Adolescence," which appeared in the October 1993 issue of Pediatrics:
"Counseling may be helpful for young people who are uncertain about their sexual orientation or for those who are uncertain about how to express their sexuality and might profit from an attempt at clarification through a counseling or psychotherapeutic initiative." If you do decide to seek counseling, it is a good idea to find a GLBT-friendly one. Visit the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists or the Wildflower Resource Network, both of which offer referrals to GLBT-friendly mental health professionals.What can I say if people claim I’m just flaunting my sexual orientation?
GLBT people are often accused of flaunting their sexuality when they come out, are publicly affectionate with a same-sex partner, wear gay symbols or participate in pride parades. But in a world that still assumes that all people are heterosexual and experience fixed and rigid gender identities, coming out is the only way GLBT people can make their sexual orientations and/or gender identities known. Stressing one's sexuality or gender identity also can be an important act of self-affirmation.
Yet there is a difference between being forthright and flaunting. Most GLBT people are not out to make a statement. They simply want to be able to incorporate the many aspects of their lives the way heterosexuals do – by talking about their partners, wearing a commitment ring or putting a photo of a life partner in the office.
What do I do if someone comes out to me?
Learning that a loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender can be a difficult discovery. It can send you on an emotional roller coaster ride. You may feel like you have lost a loved one. Remember that this person is the same one that you loved before they came out to you - they have just shared another part of themselves with you. Feelings of grief, guilt and denial are natural, given some of our society's attitudes towards homosexuality and gender variance. However, you owe it to your loved one -and yourself- to move towards acceptance and understanding. Whatever your reaction, reassure your loved one that they still have your love.
| Do | Don't |
| Do listen to what your loved one’s life is like, and what kind of experiences he or she has had in the world. | Don’t blame your own feelings on your loved one. |
| Do take the time to seek information about the lives of GLBT people from parents of GLBT people, friends of your loved one, literature, and, most of all, directly from your loved one. | Don’t rush the process of trying to understand your loved one’s sexuality or gender identity. |
| Do get professional help for anyone in the family, including yourself, who becomes severely depressed over your loved one’s sexuality or gender identity. | Don’t assume that your loved one should see a professional counselor. |
| Do accept that you are responsible for your negative reactions. | Don’t criticize your loved one for being different. |
| Do help your child (or loved one) set individual goals, even though these may differ drastically from your own. | Don’t expect your child (or loved one) to make up for your own failures in life. |
| Do try to develop trust and openness by allowing your loved one to choose his or her own lifestyle. | Don’t try to force your loved one to conform to your ideas of proper sexual behavior. |
| Do be proud of your loved one’s capacity for having loving relationships. | Don’t blame yourself because your loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. |
| Do look for the injured feelings underneath the anger and respond to them. | Don’t demand that your child (or loved one) live up to what your idea of what a man or woman should be. |
| Do defend him or her against discrimination. | Don’t discriminate against your loved one. |
| Do respect your loved one’s right to find out how to choose the right person to love and how to make relationships last. | DDon’t try to break up loving relationships. |
| Do say, "I love you." | Don’t insist that your morality is the only right one. |
Do family and friends of GLBT people also need to come out?
Yes. Family and friends come out as they acknowledge that they know and love a GLBT person and then take the next step by coming out to others about their GLBT family members. For some, this happens when they attend their first Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) meeting or pride celebration. Or friends and family members may decide to come out when someone makes an anti-gay joke or remark. Doing so shows support for the gay community as a whole and for the GLBT family member or friend personally.
Why should I support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights?
GLBT rights are not special rights. Groups like the Lynchburg College GSA and PFLAG are working to achieve equal civil rights for all people, including our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender loved ones. Because our GLBT children, friends and family members deserve the same rights as our straight ones; because discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity is still legal in many states; because a GLBT person can be fired from their job simply because of whom they love or how they express their gender; because same sex couples cannot legally be married in the majority of states in the United States; because GLBT youth face constant harassment and abuse in schools across the country; because the road to full equality and acceptance is a long one - we need you to stand up and join us in our work. Your loved one needs you to take a stand for fairness. By being open about yourself and your family you are already helping to dispel misinformation and fear.
Can gay people have families?
Yes. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people can have families. Same-sex couples do form committed and loving relationships. In the United States, many same-sex couples choose to celebrate their love with commitment ceremonies or civil unions, although these couples are not offered the rights and benefits of marriage. In Vermont, same-sex couples can have a state civil union that offers some of the benefits of marriage to resident couples, and the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Council has ruled that, under Massachusetts law, the state cannot discriminate against same sex couples in the distribution of marriage licenses. In the State of California, state law provides many (but not all) of the benefits of marriage to registered domestic partners irrespective of whether they are composed of opposite or same sex couples. More and more GLBT couples are also raising children together, although state laws on adoption and foster parenting vary. And of course, many GLBT people have the support of the loving families they were born into, or the families that they have created with their other friends and loved ones.
What about HIV/AIDS?
Since the onset of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, many people have viewed HIV/AIDS as a gay issue. The GLBT community mobilized early in the epidemic to formulate a response that included educating communities, creating visibility to reduce stigma, developing prevention strategies and advocating for appropriate care and treatment options for People Living with AIDS (PLWAs). Yet the epidemic has continued to progress and take its toll on many communities globally. Still, despite overwhelming statistics documenting the spread of HIV/AIDS in other communities, many people still choose to view HIV/AIDS as a gay issue.
The truth is that being GLBT does not give you AIDS. Certain sexual practices, certain drug use behaviors and other factors can put you at risk for catching HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Everyone needs to get the facts about HIV/AIDS.
HIV is spread by sexual contact with an infected person, by sharing needles and/or syringes (primarily for drug injection) with someone who is infected, or, less commonly (and now very rarely in countries where blood is screened for HIV antibodies), through transfusions of infected blood or blood clotting factors. Babies born to HIV-infected women may become infected during birth or through breast-feeding after birth. While research has revealed a great deal of valuable information, a lot of false or misleading information, often fueled by homophobia, continues to be shared widely through the Internet or popular press, so be sure to consider the source when educating yourself about HIV/AIDS.
If your loved one is presently HIV-positive or has AIDS, they now need your support more than ever. You should know that you are not alone. There are numerous local and national organizations that can help you with medical, psychological and physical care.